You think you’re safe. You are not.
Tracks
(Source: swfft)
(Source: smashingdevotchka)
mrs-freebatchof221bbakerstreet:
the most precious adorable lil fucker ever
(Source: martincrief)
(Source: thedoctorsjawn)
Very cool.
(Source: little-madam-mischief)
vaginas can pass stuff the diameter of a goddamn watermelon and snap back to original size, yet men still like to think their tiny ass dicks make a difference in “tightness.”
So I was waiting at the bus stop, and along came a rough looking bogan dude and his young son. The kid sees my Iron Man shirt and pulls on my skirt to get my attention.
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KID:
"I love Iron Man."
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ME:
"Yeah, I love Iron Man too."
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KID:
"No, I REALLY love Iron Man."
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DUDE:
*rolls his eyes*
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ME:
"Iron Man is pretty cool, yeah."
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KID:
"I love his beard."
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ME:
"... I'm also quite fond of his beard, I must admit."
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DUDE:
*raises his eyebrows at me*
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KID:
"I want to marry Iron Man."
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ME:
"..."
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DUDE:
"..."
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ME:
"..."
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DUDE:
"You can't marry Iron Man, he's with Miss Potts, remember? Pepper?"
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KID:
"I don't know why. Girls are icky... no offence."
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ME:
"That's okay."
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KID:
"I think Black Widow would make a pretty bridesmaid, though."
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DUDE:
"Can I marry her?"
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KID:
"NO! She's a BLACK WIDOW Dad, she'll eat you! You can marry... Captain America, because he's nice and he's old like you."
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and then the bus came and the kid fist bumped me goodbye, and then so did the kid's dad and he said thanks for not pointing out that you can't marry a fictional character.
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everyday:
i need new clothes
